Sometimes i get so frustrated that i just want to throw things.
I want to scream, and i want to cry.
For YOU.
I want to take it all away, because people like you shouldnt have this.
But you do.
And there is nothing i can say to make it better.
To fix it.
To pull the mess out and tidy it allllll up.
Because im the strong one.
I am the one you come to with your problems.
I am the one that tries so desperatly to fix those problems, whatever they may be.
But sometimes this happens.
Then theres no going back.
Nothing i can do.
And it makes me feel helpless.
I like being the girl that people count on to have a smile every day,
To make them smile.
To brighten their day.
And let my light shine.
But this light hurts right now.
It hurts for Jessica. It hurts for Jacey.
And i just want it gone.
I need it to all go away.
It hurts for my grandfather. And for m uncle.
Freaking gosh Adam!
Why did you do that to us?
Do you know how hard it is for grandma?
Do you know that i think about you very time i go to the basement?
Even the dang CAT misses you.
Pepper misses you.
Almost six years and she STILL cries for you.
I see our picture on the wall, holding me, helping me open presents as a little girl.
You were like one of my dads.
It cut deep when you decided to put out your light.
And then i cut deep.
If you were here, id show you my scars.
And maybe.
